Ansem's fun Reign of Terror!
by Verlerious
Summary: A very random and purposely done ooc fic. Um...it's got yaoi...and mostly it evolves around Ansem, Sephiroth, Cloud, and Leon. And...it's perverted...and there's no real purpose to it other than for fun. Updated Part 5 up.
1. Reign Of Terror!

Pairings: no fucking idea… ::coughs::

Warnings: um….yaoi…yaoi….insanity? AU, still referring to the game at times…or…something like that? and yes blinks ooc. It's a humor fic. I think. I wanna be ooc on purpose for once ::sheepish::

Comments: Another spur of the moment fic

Author's comments: Reading all those KH fics and stuff made me wanna ::blinks:: write about Ansem and ::sweatdrops:: I'm in a playful mood, so sue me. Probably won't be many details as ::blinks again:: I'm just doing it for the humor and possibly just my amusement. Random insanity fic!

Summary: Best way to describe it, a um…overly happy annoying Ansem wandering around bothering people…ok mostly Sephy.

Reign of Terror!

"Honey!! I'm so glad you're home!"

"…What the hell are you doing in my house?!" Sephiroth's eye twitched as he was now face to face with a bubbly eyed mad lunatic that was smiling at him and wearing an little black apron. Yes…It was Ansem.

"Oh, touchy touchy." Ansem winked an eye at Sephiroth causing the other to shudder back from the Darkness master. "I just figured my sweetie cakes would want to come home to a nicely baked dinner. And look!" He blew a kiss at Sephiroth, wiggling his hips as he held up a plate of…"I baked muffins!"

"God damn it, would you get the hell out of my house!" Sephiroth pointed to the door, a vein popping onto his forehead now. Damn it, he hadn't planned on Ansem being in his house, at least not right now. No, he had planned to come home, eat some dinner, soak in a hot bubble bath with his rubber ducky, and fantasize about thinks he planned to do with Cloud when he found him. Just that thought made him drool…until his little thought bubble busted and he was now face to face with a very very happy dark master. Damn that didn't sound right.

"Awww, Sephy all sore from training?"

"Gah!" Sephiroth jumped back from him as if he had the plague. It wasn't that the man wasn't attractive…he…kinda was? But…god he was so annoying!! Because he was always talking about taking over the world and destruction and darkness and…sex and…

"So then I decided I was going to use this kid with weird hair to try to take over the world. He kinda looked like you but he was nicer until like he wouldn't let me hurt this other kid. And so like, I said whatever and I left because I'm the Lord of the Dark and I don't need to take nothing from nobody. I mean he's really a cute kid but so stubborn and he called me OLD! Can you BELIEVE that?! So then like, after I left I thought about you and I said 'hey, maybe I should go visit Sephy,' and so I did and then I'm here and then you came in and then I said 'I'm glad you're home' and then you said…hey are you listening to me?!"

"Hm?" Sephiroth had completely started ignoring the other after the first few sentences. He was thinking about the Riku kid, which in turned brought his attention to Sora, which then made him think about Cloud which always made him think about…well…ok so he _did_ happen to see Cloud naked once in the shower. It was just once! And damn that wasn't enough and…"what did you just say?"

Ansem huffed before moving over and slyly leaning on Sephiroth's shoulder. "I said, why don't we…go into the bedroom…and get better acquainted?"

"Arg!" Sephiroth pushed Ansem from him, the results causing the other to land on his bum on the floor.

"Oooo, I love it when you play rough. Reow!" Ansem was on all fours, crouched down like a cat ready to pounce. In that case, Sephiroth did the best thing he could think of…he teleported the hell out of there.

"Awww," Ansem pouted as he sat down. "Now who will I get to play with?" Before the words were fully out, a smirk was already forming onto the evilly bouncy dark man dude's lips.

* * *

"Cloud…."

"Leon…."

"….Well? What are you going to do?" Blue eyes looked at darker eyes before Cloud glanced to the side at Cid. No, this wasn't about him. This was between Leon and Cloud. Everyone was waiting to see what would happen though, a glance over at Yuffie showing her biting on her lips nervously. Shit, were they THAT anxious to see what was going to happen? Well it was his decision…whatever he decided could cause the fates to go against him.

"…Hit me."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Quit with the chitchat and just do it." Cloud wasn't in the mood to argue over this nor did he like having the other constantly staring him down. It made him feel uncomfortable.

"Whatever." At Cloud's request, Leon grabbed a card from the deck in front of him and tossed it over to the blond. The other picked up the card and grunted. It wasn't really a sign on whether he had a good hand or a bad one. Now how Leon ended up stuck playing 21 with the group of people he'd come to call…comrades was beyond him. Cloud was, of course, just doing it for the money. Cid and Yuffie were already out having lost all their money, which Cid cursed overly about. Aerith just didn't seem to get into the game, nor understood it and it's concept. And of course that left Cloud and Leon…and this final hand. Leon just looked at him, betraying nothing, not a movement, no sweat on the eyebrow or a twitch of an eye, no nothing!

At the face Cloud made, Leon just smirked as he watched him intensely. "Going to throw your cards down? Or are you too afraid to admit you lost?"

Cloud just scowled furrowing his brow a moment. "Why don't you throw down yours first?"

"Because I'm the dealer." Ah, it was just simple fact.

Cid coughed a moment then leaned over looking at Cloud's cards before he cursed. "Fucking damn! I think you're out of this one, Cloud."

"Thanks for the obvious," Cloud stated as he set down his cards. "24."

"21." Leon lifted a brow. "You would have lost either way." Suddenly, there was a sound outside and out of curiosity everyone went to investigate. And of course everyone was met with an unexpected turn of events for outside their little shop like home in the third district of Traverse Town was…Sephiroth!

Sephiroth took a glance around, not exactly expecting he'd be that good with teleporting, then grinned when he saw Cloud and rubbed his hands together. Perfect, he'd found him. Now he could…

"Oh Sephy!! I just KNEW you would come here!" Shit, it couldn't be! Not him! Not here! Not when he was this close to getting his hands on Cloud. Before he could he even make a step to retreat, Ansem tackled him from behind causing the both of them to collapse onto the ground.

The rest of them just watched on in a mixture of emotions before Leon turned to Cloud, lifting a brow. "You lost. Now pay me."

Cloud just sneered at that, folding his arms over his chest. "I am so not paying you."

"A deal's a deal. You agreed, now pay up."

"You probably cheated," Cloud said throwing his head back and flicking his hair out of his face. "What makes you think I'm going to pay you?"

Leon just shrugged. "Suit yourself." And with that he kissed Cloud, right there in front of everyone's shocked eyes.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Sephiroth was angry, he was pissed, he was…trying to ignore the fact that the two males looked hot and…where the fuck was that hand going?!

"Shit, they're going at it!" Cid said, eyes wide as he was puffing on his cig. "Too much I just didn't need to fucking see right now." On that note, he beat a hasty runaway to his shop.

"Ooo, I think they're on to something, sugar," Ansem said pinching Sephiroth on the ass.

"Gah! Will you stop that!" He managed to slip free, pulling out his little…big Masamune threatening first Ansem for groping him, then Leon for kissing Cloud. "Unhand him!"

"And that's my que to leave," Yuffie said, giving a grin and wishing she had a camera so she could keep this forever in her visual proof and blackmail book of memories. "See ya!" She ran off, probably to torture Cid and steal some of his gummi blocks for who knows what. Aerith…just stayed in shock staring at Cloud. How could she have missed that he was gay? He looked good in a dress, damn it!

Leon lifted a brow looking at Sephiroth's sword then at Sephiroth himself. "Go play commando or something."

"Why you-ack!" Ansem clinged to Sephiroth from behind, almost making him drop the sword.

"Oh, you're so brave and strong. Make love to me, Sephy!" Sephiroth grumbled and tried hitting Ansem on top of head with the hilt of his sword but to no avail did it work! Ansem was just too…hardheaded? Sephiroth snickered slightly…until he looked up to find both Cloud and Leon gone.

"Damn it!"

* * *

((And now for our intermission))

Yuffie: Bachelor number one, you have just won the lottery and you want to take your lover out to celebrate. Would you, a) Take him to the most expensive place, b) Keep all the money to yourself selfishly and keep telling your lover you're poor even though the evidence is all over the television, then go out for pizza or c) Buy your lover an expensive gift.

Sephiroth: It's hard to choose……I'm going to go with….B. No! A…No! Shit…um…can I pick two?…No? Ok fine…I guess I'll go with….B.

Cloud: You fucking jerk!

Yuffie: Ok, and why have you chosen B?

Sephiroth: I don't know…I guess it fits my personality more. I'm known for being a beautifully demented evil and oh so cool villain in a video game.

Yuffie: I see your point. What do you have to say to this, Cloud?

Cloud: Oh my god, you're so cheap, you prick! What about _my_ needs?!

Sephiroth: I'll buy you a sticker that says "Awesome Leadership Skills?"

Cloud: And let me guess, it'll come out as "Awsm Ledsip skil" because you're too cheap to pay for all the letters. Or even worse…ALS.

Sephiroth: ::shrugs:: Possibly.

Cloud: Bastard…you better be lucky you're cute…uh…sound cute.

Yuffie: ::smiles anyway as if nothing happened:: That's all for now. We'll find out about Bachelor number two after the break.

((End intermission))

* * *

"Sephhhhhyyyyy! I know you're here! I can smell you! Oh my god, you're using the strawberry body soap I bought you, aren't you?! God that just makes me so hot!" Ansem licked his lips at the words, not even noting the bundled figure hiding upstairs on a balcony. Damn, he had the nose of a bloodhound. Or maybe that's a sex hound? Yeah, sex hound just sounded better actually. "Sephy, when I find you I'm going to make hot passionate, mansex with you!"

Sephy waited till the other was around the corner. He couldn't hear him anymore, figuring he went through the door at the end. He sighed after waiting a couple of minutes before he finally took a chance and jumped down landing smoothly. Standing up, he flexed his wing slightly before heading off. However the water to the waterway was intriguing him and he moved closer stopping to stare down at his reflection in the water.

Holy shit…he was SO sexy. Who _wouldn't_ want this piece of gorgeous manmeat?! No wonder Ansem was trying to make out with him. Oh shit, he'd completely forgotten all about-

Ansem was running, already preparing to tackle Sephiroth. "Oh, sugar cakes! I finally found you-ack!" Of course Sephiroth was used to this and timed it just right so that if he stepped to the side, Ansem just fell into the water. "Oh my goodness I'm all wet and it's all your fault! You naughty boy, you just wanted to get me naked didn't you?"

Seeing Ansem preparing to do a strip tease for him, Sephiroth made a mad dash for the house and slipped inside, closing it behind him. "He won't find me here. He_ won't_ find me here." He locked the door and turned around before his eyes bucked. Oh….shit!

"Leon, I don't think we should be doing this?"

"Oh come on, who's going to know?" That…that bastard! He had his hands on Sephiroth's Cloud! With his hands up underneath the shirt caressing that skin and and…Cloud's skin…looks so soft. In which case, Sephiroth promptly went off into a pervert sexual daze about Leon and Cloud making out…of course he was there too.

((Sephiroth's perverted thoughts))

Cloud: Oh yes, you're so big and beautiful, Sephiroth! I want you to make love to me, pleeease!

Sephiroth: As you wish, my sexy little puppet.

Leon: Yes, I'm so envious. I want your body, Sephiroth.

Sephiroth: Don't we all? But I'll give you a little taste of it.

Ansem: Oh Sephiroth, Do me! Do me now!

Sephiroth: Wait a minute, how the fuck did you get here?! ….uh…oh….

((End Sephiroth's scared thoughts))

He shook his head quickly as he found Ansem clinging on his leg and, oh god what the hell was he doing with that tongue!

"Shit shit shit!" Sephiroth quickly kicked Ansem off of him and ran behind Cloud on the couch, using him as a shield. "Keep him away from me, Cloud!!"

Cloud just lifted a brow, fixing his clothes to Leon's disappointment…and Sephiroth's too. "You're supposed to be so strong, do it yourself."

Sephiroth gave a little pout before leaning up and licking on Cloud's ear. "But Cloudy baby, that requires work, you know I can't do that."

Cloud shivered a bit before forcing himself to pull away. Damn Sephiroth and his tricks. "Then go fuck him and get it over with."

"Oh! I am _so_ appalled! You know I can't fuck anyone but you…and your little friend there…and a few other sexy males."

Cloud sniffed at that. "It's not like he looks that bad."

"But but…he's so clingy!" Sephiroth stuck his lower lips out. "Don't make me have to do the look."

Leon just coughed as he looked between the two of them. "I hate to break this to you…but he's gone."

"Huh?" Sephiroth blinked and was about to speak but before he could even voice his opinion, he was down on the ground.

"Oh, you're so comfortable and soft, Sephy, I could just eat you up." Ansem had pinned him down. Therefore his little sneak attack had worked perfectly. Ansem gave a smirk as he licked his tongue out. "You know, I think I will eat you up."

* * *

((And now for another intermission))

Yuffie: Bachelor number two, what do you consider a romantic date with your special someone?

Leon: Beating up monsters and using summoned beast that do weird things to people's memories. ::twist a finger in his ear::

Yuffie: ….Ooook…anything else?

Leon: Mmmm…… making out in hidden places, riding chocobos…thinks:: Sparring.

Yuffie: Wow you're so gracious and romantic. ::sarcasm::

Leon: ::missed the sarcasm:: I know.

Yuffie: Bachelor number three, what would-

Ansem: Oh my god you're so hot, I want to ride you all day long!

Sephy: Ack! Get it off! Get it off!

Cloud: ::snickers:: Serves you right…ah…random person…you…::coughs::

Yuffie: So, Cloud, who have you chosen to be your hot sexy man bitch?

Cloud: ….um…yeah…hard to decide… ::lifts a brow:: How about I just keep satisfying myself instead.

Yuffie: And there you have it folks! And…oh…uh…wow. ::staring at the four way pile up:: I don't think that goes there…no…I guess it can…oh! Anyways, that's the end of our show. Bai bai!

((End intermission))

* * *

After a roughness of a supposedly foursome…foursome, the group laid on the floor completely sated. Cloud wiggled his toes. "Massages are good."

Leon was lying on his back snoring loudly and lying on top of a completely sated Sephiroth who was…reading the latest magazine? The title was something like: How a man loves a man, who loves a man, who loves a man…and so on. Ansem was laying contently at their feet like a good little sex slave. And all was well, but someone not all too far away was…

"I wonder where everyone is?" Sora said holding his keyblade as he was in the hiding place of Leon. The Waterway or something like that. Dun dun duuuuuun. "Ah…maybe I'll go ask Cid." Which he would do right after he dropped off a few puppies…dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuun.

End. End now damn it.

That's enough insanity. I have it out of my head now so expect a couple of normal fics again. Wee.. Anyways soon to come…um….more VC, more FFBT, more CTBN, and more …SC. Wee!


	2. Uke or Seme? Submissive or Dominant?

Pairings: In such confusion could it be, Leon/Sephy/Cloud/Ansem? Or or ….well…we'll see ne?

Warnings: more insanity, more perversity (it's a word!), more um…crazy? More…more groping? More oocness. Oh well, it's all in good fun ne?

Comments: It's another one!

Author's comments: Back by popular demand…ok back because I just wanted to do another one…and because of my sweet sweet reviewers. ::winks:: I've decided to do another mini weird humor like story thing. Wee. To the person that suggest I make cloud a um…dominatrix… ::blinks:: I can't do it! It's not that I don't want to but well…it's more your idea soooo…I prefer you write it and let me read it. I'm sure it'd be great so go do it! I'd feel so wrong writing about that if someone else came up with it. But but…because of your suggestion it just only gave me another idea. Thankies! I love all my reviewers.

Ansem's Fun: Uke or Seme?

"So how old is Ansem anyway?" Leon asked, his arms folded over his chest as he leaned back against the wall.

"Old," Sephiroth replied, resting his hand against his forehead looking stressed.

"Three billion years old!" Ansem yelled out excitedly.

"You liar!" Sephiroth growled as he knocked Ansem to the ground and proceeded to stomp on him.

"Oh my darkness, love tap!" Ansem squealed happily clinging onto Sephiroth's leg like a leech.

"Gah! Let go!"

"Hey…guys…I have something I want to say to you all." All three males looked up as Cloud stepped out of the bathroom having just taken a nice hot shower. His hair was still wet and he'd yet to put a shirt on though sadly, he was wearing pants. Yes…the other males drooled over this…though Ansem's attention seemed to be more focused on something else…busy hands that he had.

"Gah! Stop that you sick pervert!" Sephiroth yelled snatching Ansem's hand away from him and squeezing it.

"Awww, you're holding my hand! You're so sweet! Fuck me?"

Cloud just sighed doing his best to ignore the two males, one beating the crap out of the other, and just continued on with what he was saying. "Well…I wanted to announce that I…I'm…"

"Not feeling well?"

"Feel like going another round in the bedroom?"

"Pregnant? …Gah!" Ansem collapsed on the ground from where Sephiroth had threw him across the room.

"Idiot! He can't get pregnant, he's a man!" Sephiroth paused in that before looking at Cloud lifting a brow. "Even though he does look feminine."

"You're one to talk," Leon muttered but aside from that he kept quiet.

Cloud cleared his throat, his eyebrow twitching. "Anyway…I'm here to tell you that…I will no longer be the submissive one in this fourway relationship. From now on, I will play part as the dominant one and you will all be my ukes!"

"Oooo I get to be submissive. Sephy, pinch me!" Ansem bent over, sticking his ass in the air, which was wiggling back and forth tantalizingly.

Instead, Sephiroth lifted a foot and kicked Ansem in the butt sending him to fall over. He huffed and reached up brushing some of his bangs out of his eyes before he looked over at Cloud. "You must have bumped your head or something. There's no way you can be the dominant one. For one thing, you're shorter than the rest of us."

Cloud pouted slightly and folded his arms over his chest defiant. "Don't use my size in this! Besides, if you don't let me be the dominant one then….then I'll never sleep with you ever again!"

((Intermission))

Ansem grinned big as he popped up in front of the screen, holding a tube of something in his hands. "Hello, all you happy gay couples out there. Can't seem to get your man pregnant? Then use this special cream to do the trick! All you have to do is put some on your fingers…slide it in…and wahla! A baby is born!"

Sephiroth's stepped out onto the screen, lifting a brow before he glanced over at Ansem. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm teaching men how to have babies, Sephy-muffins!" He smiled up at him before moving and clinging onto Sephiroth's arm.

"Sheesh…let me see that thing." He snatched the tube from Ansem's hand and started to read it. "…Darkness cream?"

"My very own specially made super duper Darkness Cream! I made it myself. You proud of me?"

Sephiroth didn't answer as he kept reading…further down….further down….further down…. "You idiot!" He slapped Ansem on the back of the head. "This isn't supposed to make men pregnant! This is for…it's…it's a type of lube!"

"Aww and I thought I was on to something…" Ansem pouted before a grin popped onto his face. "Wanna try it out? Do it do it!" He bent over sticking his ass out and looked back at Sephiroth, wiggling his ass back and forth as he tried to look cute. "Oh yes, make me feel real good, Sephy. Mmm.." He sucked on a finger trying for looking sexy and irresistible.

"………" Sephiroth just lifted a foot, kicking him in the ass once more before he grumbled and turned around tossing the tube over his shoulder as he walked off. "I don't have time for this."

((End Intermission))

Everyone was staring in shock at Cloud…minus Ansem who somehow had managed to get his hand down Sephiroth's pants while the other was distracted. "What do you mean, you'll never sleep with us again?! More importantly, me!" Sephiroth yelled before finding out what Ansem was up to and pushing the hand away from him.

"I mean that I think it is totally unfair that I always have to be on the bottom because I'm smaller!" Cloud didn't look at all happy. Actually it was cute the way he was standing there pouting with his hair still wet and his bare feet on the plush carpet beneath.

Leon coughed slightly at that, finally pushing away from the wall. "It's not that you're…small…more like you're well…." He tilted his head to the side frowning a bit trying to find out the best way to put this. "You're…cute."

"I am NOT cute! I can be as tough as the rest of them! Remember the time I beat Sephiroth up?!"

((Flashback to last week))

Cloud: Die!

Sephiroth: Never! Muhahahaha! ::gets hit:: Ah! My eye! collapse

Cloud: Eh…sorry Sephy…. It serves you right.

((End flash back))

"……I wasn't here, remember? I had went out shopping since SOMEONE didn't do it last week!" Leon glared at Sephiroth as he said this.

"What?!" Sephiroth looked at him oh so innocently. "How do you think I could go anywhere with THIS thing on me?" He asked pointing down at Ansem was trying to undo Sephiroth's pants.

Again Cloud pouted, trying his best to make the other two change their minds. "Well why can't Leon be the submissive one?! I mean he wears a pink apron and is always cooking dinner and cleaning the house!"

"That's because I don't want to live in a dirty house. And my apron is _not_ pink! It's just a very light red, thank you very much."

"Hey Sephy-noodle, let's go get dirty in the bedroom," Ansem whispered in Sephiroth's ear, finally off the ground.

"How bout not." Sephiroth was really debating tying the other up somewhere. But then again Ansem would probably scream bondage and would practically enjoy that thought…hmm….. "You're right. Leon is a girl. So you can just fuck him then." He smirked as he said that already receiving a glare from the other male.

"I am not a girl! Grrr… And what about you?! You're so vane, always worrying about your looks like a girl! And no normal guy has hair that long!"

"I can't help my greatness. You're just jealous of my good looks, naturally perfect body, and beautiful soft flowing hair."

Leon just looked at him, eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Yeah. Uh huh. Sure."

"What is it going to take for you guys to let me be on top?!" Cloud was desperate! It wasn't that being on the bottom was bad, but he never got any control and he wanted to be the boss this time!

"A cold day in hell," Sephiroth said folding his arms.

"I'd keep you warm, Sephy-falaficus!" Ansem tackled him unexpectedly.

"Damn it, get off! And what the hell is a falaficus?!"

"Oh darkness, you want me to get off?! Oh I didn't think you'd ever ask me that! So naughty!"

"Gah, not like that! Put that away!"

Leon sighed and smacked his forehead. "Idiots. Idiots! Why am I surrounded by idiots?" He finally looked back at the 'I'm too hot with my slick body, oh please fuck me' Cloud and tapped a finger against his lips in thought. "What about…a game…a competition. The winner then gets to be on top."

"Hmph. And let me guess. It'll be a game of 21 won't it?" Cloud was not amused. And the same could be said of Sephiroth who was being groped merciless by an overly giddy and horny Ansem.

"Yes of course. Why shouldn't it be?" That was Leon's answer to the question.

"Because you always win at that game!"

((Intermission))

Leon: Have you recently been in a car accident? Then call 1-800-KICKHISA- ::gets interrupted::

Cloud: Leon, that's the wrong commercial! ::gets to be the director, weee!::

Leon: Then what commercial is this?! ::grumbles and glares off into space::

Cloud: It's the ad for men's clothing! ::sighs:: Alright cut, let's start that back at the beginning…is the film rewind yet? …….Good. Annnnd…action!

Leon: ::lifts a brow staring at the que cards and speaks monotonously:: Do you find me to be a sexy and attractive man? Do you wish you could look as good as I do in leather? Are you unsure what type of leather is good on you? If so call me at 1-800-LEATHERMAN and I will teach you the basic things you need to know about leather so that you too can look as good as I do. ::blinks:: This sucks.

Cloud: CUT! You know…I was going to let it pass that you sounded extremely boring. But what gives you the right to ridicule my work?!

Leon: Oh come on! Basic training to wearing leather? Am I going to have them wearing combat boots and carrying rifles just incase the leather gets out of hand?!

Cloud: Not a bad idea. ::rubs his chin:: Hey, write that into the script!

Leon: ::eye twitches:: Whatever, I'm out of here. Besides…NO ONE…I mean…NO ONE can look as good as I do.

Sephiroth: We'll see about that….muhahahaha…

((End Intermission))

So now everyone was sitting at the table except a certain identity stealing Ansem who was pawing contently at Sephiroth's lap like a kitty. Obviously he wasn't going to join in the competition for…top or bottom. Since Cloud refused, absolutely _refused_ to play 21. They were playing a game of…gold fish.

"Hm…," Leon lifted a brow looking over at Sephiroth. "…Got any 4's?"

Sephiroth just smirked, uttering two words that slipped free of his lips, "Go Fish."

"This game is lame!" Leon sighed and tossed down his cards then leaned back in his chair closing his eyes and folding his arms. He lifted his feet up planting them on the table getting quite relaxed though causing his chair to tilt backwards some. "Only Cloud would pick something this stupid."

"Shut up! I didn't play many games when I was younger. Besides, because you forfeited, you lose. You have to be my uke now!"

Leon just lifted a brow. "I'm not being submissive just because of this dumb game."

"Yes, enough of this." Sephiroth threw his cards down too, actually having had found it hard to concentration with…someone…under the table doing…things…they shouldn't be doing with their mouth. He passed Leon a look and then just suddenly vanished in a torrent of feathers.

"Ah, Sephy-poo! It was just getting to the good part too." Ansem tsked and flopped down into the chair brushing his hair and waiting…waiting…waiting…. "Ooo Feathers!!" Ansem played with the feathers.

"Shit!" Cloud pushed away from the table and looked around quickly. He hated when Sephiroth did this. He always appeared in unsuspecting places and catched him off guard. "Sephiroth, quit trying to find the easy way out and get over here!"

Leon just sat there, never truly changing positions but never the less smirking slightly at what he knew was going to happen soon. "You might as well sit down and wait. You know what's going to happen." Yeah, Sephiroth always did this when the other was mad about something or was trying to convince them that he wanted something. Like the time he wanted them to go trick-r-treating with him on Halloween. They had all went, but not before a good ole fashion orgy treatment. They did it after trick-r-treating too. Double orgy, what fun was that? Very fun.

Cloud grumbled then froze when he felt a body pressing up against him from behind. Oh god, his weakness! "S-sephiroth, you dirty bastard!" He purred softly and snuggled back against the taller man. Damn them for being taller! He could already see Leon leering at him and swallowed before he eeped at Sephiroth pinching his ass. "That hurt!"

Sephiroth just nipped at his neck then smirked. "Serves you right for making us go through all this trouble when we could have been fucking by now."

Suddenly Leon was in front of Cloud and picked him up holding him. "I'll take him to the bedroom. You take care of your pet."

"He's not my pet! He's just some guy that I happen to feed and take care of like a pet." Sephiroth glanced down at Ansem who was on all fours tugging on his pants. "He needs training."

"Get him a collar so he doesn't get lost somewhere."

Sephiroth huffed. "It's not like I asked for a pet. He just followed -stalked- me home, that's all."

"Ooo! Ooo! Fuck me! Fuck me! Gah!" A hit on the head maked Ansem unconscious.

"There's nothing else for it but to do it." Sephiroth clenched his hands into fist to make his point.

(A couple of hours or more later)

"There, are you satisfied now?"

"Yes yes I am."

"Good…" In which case Sephy kicked the sated Ansem out of the giant giant bed the four of them shared. "Since you're the pet, sleep on the floor."

"Hey hey, not so loud. People are trying to sleep." Leon opened an eye up giving Sephiroth a glare, snuggling a very cute slightly drooling Cloud that was laying in-between them.

"Like anyone can sleep over your snoring." Sephiroth snorted. He glanced down at the now sleeping, curled up Ansem then, when no one was looking, smiled and pet his head with a toe. "You're actually kinda cute when you're not groping me," he whispered.

"I heard that." Leon smirked and stared at him over Cloud. "You do like him, admit it."

"What?! I do not now shut up…and go to sleep or something…" Sephiroth muttered. And so the four men lived happily and blissfully every after fucking each other. Two submissive and two dominant and oh well maybe that was three submissive. Or three dominant? Only time would tell.

(Final Intermission)

Leon: …..

Sephiroth: …..

Leon: ….Well?

Sephiroth: Well what?

Leon: I'm not being on the bottom this time. My ass still hurts from the last time.

Sephiroth: And who's fault was that?

Leon: Yours! You were being too rough!

Sephiroth: ::smirks:: I thought you liked it hard.

Leon: ::blush:: That's not the point! ::sighs:: You're lucky Cloud's out right now or else I wouldn't be doing this.

Sephiroth: You know I can't play submissive. I'm super cool and way too hot to be getting it up the ass.

Leon: And who's fault is that?

Sephiroth: I admit I must blame myself. Maybe if I was cuter instead of being so damn sexy I could play the part of slave in our, oh so twisted relationship.

Leon: Yes I blame it all on you…for totally different reasons.

Sephiroth: What's that supposed to mean?!

Leon: It means you're a jackass. If you wanna fuck someone go fuck Ansem.

Sephiroth: Don't say that too loud! He might hear you.

Ansem: Oh Sephy-baby, I cooked your favorite dessert. ::heard from in the kitchen:: It's a pie with whipped cream topping! Mmmm. Oh my darkness I spilled some on my bare naked skin! Oh it's so cold and sticky! Come lick it off of me! Ohh!

Sephiroth: ::lifts a brow:: Call it a day?

Leon: Good Idea.

(End final Intermission)

The End!

Ok so I made another one. Probably not as good as the first one but oh well. It's got its good points and its bad points. More importantly, Ansem is so fun to type as! I generally love his last line. But then again I'm a weirdo freak. Ah anyways soon to come, FFBT4 then CTBN 9 or 10 or whatever that's on. Then SC 10 or 11. Sheesh, I confuse myself even. Oi!


	3. Dominatrix sucks!

Pairings: In such confusion could it be, Leon/Sephy/Cloud/Ansem? Or or ….well…we'll see ne?

Warnings: more insanity, more perversity (it's a word!), more um…crazy? More…more groping? More oocness. Another wacky commercial break!

Comments: Another part to another I dunno.

Author's comments: Well originally this was the last part but I apparently lied to myself as there is another part behind this. Strangely enough I had no idea that I had finished this part already. Oops. It appears I coulda been updated this. Heh heh……:sneaks away:

Ansem's Fun: Dominatrix suck!

"Alright!" Cloud had a smile on his face, his hands held up in front of him in a kind of "yes!" pose as his beautiful blue eyes started to sparkle. "Today is the day," he said resting his hands on his hips like a superhero. And with his red cape that he eh…borrowed from Vincent, he almost did look like a superhero…minus being naked in everything but socks and a pair of black bikini underwear that Leon had bought for him. And wouldn't you know it, they were leather underwear. But that wasn't going to bring him down, not with what he was about to do. "I'm finally going to be the dominant one in the relationship!"  
"When the hell did you decide all that!" Sephiroth yelled. He was lying down on the bed, his hands and feet tied down and looking not at all happy. In fact, a person could say he looked not happy…even unhappy. Lying beside him in the bed was Leon, also tied down. He was unhappy too…well more disgruntled. He was looking away like this wasn't affecting him, even though his hands were clenched in their confines.  
"I decided it while you two were snoring," Cloud said with a snort as he moved to sit on Sephiroth's legs. The other made a sound of discomfort but Cloud just ignored it, figuring that a man who took down a dragon should be able to deal with a younger, smaller, lighter, cuter, oh so adorable male sitting on his legs.  
"You've been putting on weight," Sephiroth said tugging lightly on the restraints.  
"Are you calling me fat!"  
"Yes, I mean no! I'm just saying you're heavy!" Cloud looked ready to hit him, his hand made into a fist above his head, but instead he brought back down in front of him, glaring at Sephiroth now as he moved from his legs to Leon's.  
"That's exactly why I'm leaving you in the hands of Ansem."

* * *

(We interrupt this story for a very brief commercial)

Interviewer: They say there's no wrong way to eat a Reese's. So tell me, Leon…how do you eat your Reese's cup?

Leon: I just eat it.

Interviewer: Anything special in how you eat it?

Leon:lifts a brow: I eat it like how I eat food…with my mouth….

Interviewer: Ooooook……back to the show!

Leon:eats a Reese's:

(End commercial break)

* * *

"WHAT!"  
"You heard me!" Cloud yelled at him. Oh, there was no way he was going to allow Sephiroth to ruin his plans. No, he would have what he wanted this time. "For calling me fat, Ansem's going to be dominant over you."  
"Hurray, I get to be dominate with my little snuggly Sephy baby!"  
"Gah! Where the hell did you come from!" Sephiroth yelled out, wishing he had a cross or some garlic or something to keep this evil lust-sucking leech away from him.  
"I found some yaoi mangas under your bed and decided to read them!"  
"Do you even know what yaoi is?" Leon asked, still with that care-freeness look…minus the growing discomfort of Cloud being on his legs.  
"Not a clue! Just that there's a lot of guys making out with each other. Some even looked like my dear sweet sexy fuckable Sephy-sugar!"  
"Can you be serious for at least two seconds!" Cloud grunted, rubbing at his temples in annoyance.  
Suddenly, Ansem's facial expression changed. He set his mouth to a thin line, his eyes darkening as his eyebrows tilted down giving a very serious look. Even his posture became stalk, more straight up and down and professional. He cleared his throat, reaching up and brushing some dust off his coat from where he'd been looking under the bed at Sephiroth's stuff. He rested his eyes on Cloud and the other couldn't help the feelings that passed over him at the look in Ansem's eyes.  
Ansem's lips lifted up into a little smirk as he lifted up a finger pointing it straight up at the sky. "I…" he said before he lifted a second finger to join the first. " Am…" The look stayed for another second before he broke out into a big grin, and he held both his hands to his heart, his eyes sparkling now with excitement. "Sooo going to enjoy making out with my Sephy! Oh just the thought of it makes me drool!"  
"For a second I actually believed he changed," Leon said quietly, his eyes closed as he shifted his body a bit. Cloud's weight on his legs were starting to make them fall asleep.  
"Please don't let him take me," Sephiroth said giving Cloud the watery, pleading eyes.  
"I'm not changing my mind," Cloud said giving him the 'no matter what you say, it'll still be no' look. Ok so he didn't really name it that. More like the 'If you ask me again, I'll hit you with my sword,' look.  
"You promise?" Sephiroth said lifting a brow with a smirk.  
"Aren't we forgetting something? Like me and my legs?" Leon just frowned pulling on the ropes. Oh this just sucked ass. He wasn't made for being on the bottom! …Minus his times in the past with Irvine…and Seifer…and Zell …or the time Cloud was gone and he and Sephiroth well….and even Ansem was pretty good…not that he'd tell anyone.  
"Are you calling me fat?" Cloud said accusingly as he slid up and sat down on Leon's tummy and poked his nose.  
Leon wiggled his nose, his eyes crossing for a second before he looked up at Cloud. "No…but my legs aren't made for sitting."  
"Well I do know something made for sitting," Cloud said and Leon's eyes started to light up. Cloud quickly shook his head. "But you won't be getting the satisfaction of that this time. Now then." He cleared his throat and stood up reaching behind his back. "Let's begin."  
From behind his back he pulled out a whip and everyone in the bedroom froze staring at him in a mixture of emotions such as shock, confusion, joy, and pain. "Now…just WHERE the hell did you pull that from?" Sephiroth asked.  
"Oh goody, it's a love toy!" Ansem ducked down for a second, searching around under the bed before he popped up also holding up a whip. "I must show my sweety poo just how much I love him!"

Sephiroth's eyes swelled up at the sight of it. "No way you're touching me with that thing!"

* * *

(Commerical)

Interviewer: Hey you! Are you Amazing enough to eat Mazings?

Sephiroth: …Are you? By the way, call me Hey again and I'll-

Interviewer: Please just answer the question…

Sephiroth: I have a wing, a big sword, long sexy hair, a perfect body, and fangirls that would kill just to date me…I'd say I'm pretty damn amazing…

Interviewer: R-right!

Sephiroth: Now…feel the wrath of my fangirls!

Interviewer: Eek::makes a run for it being chased down by fangirls:

(End commercial)

* * *

"You're lucky I'm feeling generous," Cloud said sitting the whip to the side. "Now then…where to begin…"  
"Ooo, ooo!" Ansem jumped up and down waving his hands like a little kid. "Why don't we pour hot wax on them!" he said with such giddy.

"Now that's a good idea!" Cloud said smiling like a kid himself as he clapped his hands together.

"Now that a stupid idea!" Sephiroth said quickly, struggling even more against the confines. Geez, for a man that could take down a dragon, control mindless drones, disappear randomly, and summon a Meteor, getting loose from some cheap metal handcuffs shouldn't be a problem at all. So …why wasn't any of that helping him now when he needed them the most!

"Oh goody! I'll go light the candles!" Ansem bounced up heading out the door, probably to get the candle's from the kitchen.

As he was leaving out, Leon turned his head and glared at Sephiroth. "This is all your fault, you know."

"How dare you try to pin this on me!" Sephiroth yelled with a growl.

Leon only lifted a brow, the glare still set in his eyes. "If you weren't always trying to fuck me…no…if you weren't always…if…..it just is, ok! Maybe if you'd let Cloud fuck you every three weeks, he wouldn't be so wired!"

"Oh yeah! Then why don't you get fucked by him then! Your ass is made for it anyway!"

Leon opened his mouth to say something before he closed it and let his eyes slip shut as he turned his head away. "I don't get done by submissive people."

Sephiroth paused letting that hang in the air for a moment before he opened his mouth to speak again. "So………how many people did you let fuck you?"

"Hey, are you accusing me of being a whore!"

"Yes, yes I am," Sephiroth said smirking at him.

"…..Five…not counting that time Reno caught me with my pants down…..or the time Rufus wanted to do it in his dad's shed….or the time that Kiros-"

Cloud cleared his throat, arms folded over his chest as he glared at his two male lovers.

Leon looks at him perplexed while Sephiroth just snorts. "What?" Sephiroth said. "It's not like we have anything better to do than to lay here tied to the bed."

"But…this is supposed to be about me!" Cloud said sniffling slightly as he had little tears in his eyes. "What about me! What about my needs!"

"…..Ok, he's been PMSing a lot today…you sure he's not a girl?" Leon said glancing at Sephiroth.

"Screw that….you sure he's not pregnant?"

"I can't believe you!" Cloud yelled at them before he turned to face the door. "Ansem, bring in the candles!"

* * *

(Commercial starting)

Interviewer: has bandages, a cast, and a broken leg: What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Cloud: Kill a pack of fangirls and a certain someone who overrates himself. :glares at Sephiroth:

Spehiroth: Bite me!

Cloud: I plan to!

Leon: Save it for the bedroom you two…

Interviewer: …..I'm not getting paid enough for this.

(The comercial ends!)

* * *

"Ok ok, how about we make a deal?" Sephiroth said looking skeptically at the big container of Wax Ansem was holding in his hands so comfortably. "How about…you get to be dominate with Leon…and we all just leave this behind us and you let us go."

"WHAT!" Leon yelled.

"No," Cloud said sticking his lower lip out in a pout. "If I'm going to be dominate…it's going to be both of you…at the same time."

"….I don't think you have two peni-"

"I do!" Ansem reached other the bed pulling out a couple of Sephiroth's 'toys' and pounce happily on top of Sephiroth, straddling his chest. "See? There's a blue….and a pink one…ooo this green one matches your eyes, Sephy-bundles…we should play now." He licked his lips leaving Sephiroth staring up at him horrified before his struggles began anew.

"Let me up! I've been tortured enough!"

* * *

(The start of a new begin- I mean commercial)

Interviewer: Finally the last one! …I mean, how would you like to taste the rainbow?

Ansem: If It had plenty of Sephy cream, I'd swallow it whole. Oh, just thinking about it makes my mouth water. :licks lips: Yum… Oh Sephy, give me your cream!

Sephiroth: Show's over! Now::runs:

Ansem:chases; Give me your sugary goodness, oh master!

Interviewer: I quit::tosses the microphone away and crutches away:

TBC…

Ok possibly the most weirdest and most un-serious of this KH trilogy. :snickers: Ansem still…..scares me. :yawns: Sorry for the long update, my classes have been kicking my butt this semester so I'm moving a lil slowly…ok a lot slowly. This is the official ending to this fic. Rereading this, I actually still like this one though the ending could never really be an ending. We'll leave it to the imagination this time. Four Should be out soon as I'm just putting in the finishing details or something like that. Sorry for taking so damn long to update well…anything. I haven't been motivated to write lately though reading a lot of fanfiction has been helping.


	4. Jobs and Red Capes of Doom!

Pairings: In such confusion could it be, Leon/Sephy/Cloud/Ansem? Or or ….well…we'll see ne?

Warnings: more insanity, more perversity (it's a word!), more um…crazy? More…more groping? More oocness. Another wacky commercial break!

Comments: Another part to another I dunno.

Author's comments: This appears to be becoming an ongoing weird unseries series. Yikes, while I'm at it, I'm once again thanking the reviewer who suggested a dominatrix styled Cloud. Though I'm afraid he didn't really well…turn out exactly how you'd expect. :sneaks off: I'm starving like mad!

Ansem's Fun: Jobs and Red Capes of Doom.

"Welcome home, sweety!"

"….Why the fuck are you still here!" Sephiroth hadn't even made it into the house before he had the other kneeling on the ground in front of him and pawing at his legs like a wild animal. If anyone walking by had seen that well, they knew better than to bug Sephiroth about it. They'd seen what happened to the people that brought complaints to him. Let's just say, it wasn't pretty.

"Because he lives here?" Leon said coming from out of the bedroom as he heard the commotion from the front door. He was rubbing his eyes, a sign that he must have been napping at the time. Even with his hair slightly mussed, he was still a very sexy man wearing his tight ass leather and no shirt. It was enough to make Sephiroth drool…. Did he deserve to have such men living in his house? Yes, yes he did.

"He's been waiting at the door for you like a lovesick puppy ever since you left." This came from Cloud who was just coming out of the kitchen. He had a bowl in hand and was drying it with a dish rag looking like a cute little house wife with the apron Leon had bought him that said 'I'm the chef now, bitch.' Well, Cloud liked it over the one Sephiroth got him which said 'I'm so uke, fuck me!' with an arrow pointing around to the back…not to mention the little whole that was cut just perfect in front of his crotch.

Sephiroth just scowled looking at his would be lovers with a glare. "What, should I give him a doggy treat?" He didn't hesitated to kick the horny man away when he found the other beginning to hump his leg.

"Oh Sephy-noodle! Make love to me right here!" Ansem didn't hesitate to lay down on his back staring up at him with obvious horniness.

Sephiroth could only stare…and stare…as the man writhed on the floor like a cat. "Why the hell is he naked!"

"Well um…." Cloud blushed playing around with the bowl nervously as he looked at the ground. "He's also been…um…taking care of…uh…well…while you were gone."

"I love you, Sephy-pancakes!"

"I'm not your breakfast, damn it!"

"I tried to calm him down when I got home from work," Leon said as he walked over to stand beside Cloud, kissing his blushing cheek before he smirked. "Looks like he only likes girly men doing him."

Sephiroth glared at the comment. "How about, size does matter," he said reaching down and grabbing his crotch.

All that did was spark Ansem's interest even more causing the other to go haywire and start clawing at the other and tugging on his pants. "Oooooh!"

"Gah!" Put off balance, Sephiroth collapsed on his ass being completely overpowered by a horny Ansem who could care less about his nudeness in a nearly public area.

"Well, take care of it then," Leon said as he laughed and turned around walking away from the two of them. Cloud just stared, continuing to dry the bowl before he turned to follow his other lover.

"You bastards!"

* * *

(break)

:Scene where Sephy's supposed to jump from the sky and stab Aeris. Except this time he's holding a dildo and is aiming for Cloud:

Cloud: Uh…Sephiroth…what are you- eep!

Sephiroth: Scream my name. :smirks:

Cloud: Nooo….n-not in front of my…party memb- oh god, yes! Sephiroth, harder! Do it harder!

Aeris:sweatdrops:

Cid:cig falls out of his mouth in shock:

Barret: Holy sh- :beep:

(end break)

* * *

"Hey, Sephy? If I'm really a clone then…" Cloud sat up from where he was cuddling against Sephiroth's side all nakie like. "wouldn't that mean I was having sex with myself?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Sephiroth looked down at Cloud causing himself to break the kiss with the Sephiroth clone that looked exactly like him. Another look alike clone was groping him and massage his legs while a third was kneeled beside him feeding him grapes and looking at him with praise. There was even a fourth behind him fanning him with a giant fan.

Cloud growled at this clenching his hands in the sheets as he glared as Sephiroth. "Sorry I asked."

Sephiroth just shrugged and turned his attention back to um…himself as he kissed himself again. "Oh god I'm so hot…"

"Ahhhhhhh! Holy shit what the hell does that have to do with me!" Leon woke up yelling loudly his breath coming in fast pants and his chest heaving up and down rapidly as he brought a hand up rubbing it against his sweaty forehead. He finally started to calm down once he noticed it was only a dream. Snoring drew his attention away from his own discomforts as he found Ansem lying on the other side of the bed drooling and doing the naughty to himself in his sleep.

"Oh so many of my sweet loveable Sephys! Do me hard! Yes! More! More! Fill me up!"

"I…I don't want to know," Leon said as he slide from the bed as quietly as he could. If he could avoid it, then maybe Ansem would sleep for a couple more hours.

"Why the hell do you still have this thing!" Now that wasn't something Leon felt like hearing first thing in the morning…the sound of Sephiroth's bellowing.

"It's a memorable item of one of my friends!" That had to be Cloud counterattacking whatever accusations Sephiroth was pinning on him this time. Considering how they went at each other's throats sometimes, it was a wonder they loved each other at all. Then again, considering how often Cloud was found moaning Sepiroth's name while they were doing it…countered that thought. Not that Leon was jealous of his sexy lovers, considering he did get the chance to hear Cloud moaning his name as well. Now he only had to work on Ansem some more and find a way to actually fuck Sephiroth for once. Speaking of which, how the hell DID they all end up together in this weird and wacky relationship? Only the mystery of the could answer that one.

"Why the hell is everyone yelling?" That would be Leon's comment to what was happening considering he really didn't want to be up in the first place. He wondered if Sephiroth's yelling had sparked that weird ass dream he had…seriously, what did it have to do with him? Having received a glare from both Cloud and Sephiroth he began to wonder if maybe he should have kept his big mouth shut.

"I'm tired of him walking around with that stupid red cape and that damn fake claw all the time! Haven't you noticed that he carries it everywhere lately!"

(flashback)

Cloud:huddles in his red cape sleeping and sucking his claw thumb:

(flashback)

Cloud:walk around the house wearing only underwear and a red cape:

(flashback)

Cloud:dressed as Vincent for Halloween:

(end flashbacks)

"I'm not that bad!" Cloud pouted though he was glaring pretty damn harshly at Sephiroth.

"Like hell you aren't!"

"Sounds like an addiction to me," Leon said calmly as he flopped down at the table looking around for a plate of pancakes or at least something resembling breakfast to eat. " Why do you wear that stuff anyway?"

With a sigh, Cloud told him it all in one simple sentence. "It's a reminder of my friend Vincent who helped save the world from Sephy's _stupid_ Meteor." At that Cloud sent his glare once again in Sephiroth's direction.

"It was _not_ a stupid meteor!" Sephiroth said glaring back though his lip was poking out in a pout at having to hear Cloud call his meteor stupid. "And don't look at me like that, I was under Jenova's control when it happened."

"I control the darkness." Ansem popped out of no where smiling big as he held his arms out to the side of him.

That must have been one-second happiness as the next thing he knew, Sephiroth's foot was pushing his head to the ground. "Shut up, you!" It had to be times like this that Leon actually wondered if Ansem just might be a masochist. Who else would enjoy being abused by their lover even if he did fuck you into the next century?

"Anyways," Cloud said dismissing the action, "I wear that in memory of him."

"Then why don't you do that with that one girl I killed but somehow she's alive again," Sephiroth said, sounding disappointed at the knowledge that she was still alive. "Or what about that big boobed girl, Eifa?"

"Tifa," Cloud corrected though he seemed to be starting to calm down now as he wasn't glaring as hard at Sephiroth anymore. Not that the glares even hurt the man, Leon noticed. He did have to appreciate Cloud wearing the apron he picked out for him once again…but he wanted some damn breakfast!

"Whatever," Sephiroth said in reply looking down at Ansem who was massaging his foot and looking up at him in praise, though to Leon it was like begging to be fucked.

"Because I'm gay and I'm not gonna wear a dress."

"So glad of you to admit that," Leon said as he stood up from the table. Fine, he'll just make his own breakfast again damn it.

"I do recall while eavesdropping that you did dress in drag at Midgar and almost got done in by that one huge pervert who-"

"That was just one time!" Say what?

Leon quickly shook his head and turned around from his position in front of the fridge frowning before he gave a sigh. "As much as I like hearing stories and laughing at the idea of Cloud dressed as a woman, we do have other problems to worry about."

"Like what!" Two pair of angry eyes turned on him with a glare, making Leon regret speaking once again. Seems that talking was getting him into a lot of trouble. And he didn't even say what the problem was yet!

"Hm?" Ansem looked up from where he'd just gotten Sephy's pants undone and blinked his eyes in confusion, obviously just now noticing the silence and the fact that there seemed to be some tension in the air.

* * *

(break) 

Yuffie: Hey Squall, let's go eat ice cream together:happy happy:

Leon: Don't call me Squall. :ignore:

Aeris: Hey Squall, do I look ok in this dress:spins spin:

Leon: Don't call me Squall.

Cid: Hey Squall, I need you to run by the shop and get a part for me. :smoke smoke:

Leon: Don't call me Squall.

Cloud: Hey, Squall, will you spar with me?

Leon: Sure, let's go. :walks over to him pulling him close and walks away with him:

Aeris: eh...:blush:

Cid: Whatever….damn brats :walks away:

Yuffie:pouts: That's so not fair!

(end break)

* * *

"What do you mean I have to get a job!" Cloud yelled out, eyes wide in shock.

"Screw that!" Sephiroth said not looking shocked…but more like angry. "What do you mean I need to get a real job!" Leon blinked at him, eyes traveling lower to notice that Sephiroth was missing his pants, not that Sephiroth himself seemed to notice. Seems like Ansem was at work once again.

"Walking around flirting with women, sleeping with them, and then taking their money is not a job," Leon replied calmly as he went about mixing stuff together in hopes of making some breakfast.

"You sleep with women!" Cloud said in shocked and something else that Leon could describe as being hurt, frustration, or anger. Leon wasn't too sure yet since sometimes it seemed liked Cloud was having male PMS or something.

"What, bisexuality's a crime now!" Sephiroth yelled back giving his best glare before he reached up and flicked his sexy hair out of his face giving Cloud a look. "Talk to me after you stop fantasizing about being fucked by that Bincent guy."

"It's Vincent!"

"Who cares!"

"Silence!" Leon yelled but not prevailing as his two male lovers continued to glare at each other. When did things get so bad as this?

"Fuck you!" Sephiroth said glaring at Leon and flicking the man off almost casually.

"Ansem, sedate him!"

Ansem didn't seem to hesitate at all at that. His eyes were bouncing with glee as he just took Sephiroth and…sucked him so to say. "Ah shit- oooh…." Sephiroth instantly calmed down after that, eyes rolling in his head.

"He was waiting on that…" Leon noticed, sweatdropping as he turned around back to the stove to start cooking the pancakes in the skillet. "Now then…"

Cloud was pouting, but when was he NOT pouting. "But I do have a job," he said quietly as he tapped his fingers together. "Just that Phil hasn't sent me anything lately…"

Leon sighed. "It's not helping with our money problems. With four people living in the house we constantly have to have food, electricity, and the water bill among other things." He flipped the pancakes over and glanced over at the very well sedated Sephiroth who was completely oblivious to everything else around him.

"Mmmgm pmpmp mpmmmmmhghm," Ansem said causing both Cloud and Leon to glance over at him in confusion.

"What did you say?" Leon asked, temporarily forgetting his pancakes.

Ansem took that moment to take a breather as he looked over at Leon all happy like. "I said that I have a stash of cash in my castle!"

"Did I tell you to stop?" Sephiroth said, hands rested on top of Ansem's head as he glared at him.

"Sorry my delicious suckable Sephyicle." Ansem continued where he left off leaving the other two staring at him like an idiot…not that they hadn't had their share of Sephiroth so…they couldn't say they wouldn't do the same after a taste of him.

"Secret stash? Ansem, explain!" Leon yelled out before he cursed at his smoking pancakes and quickly returned his attention to them, plopping them over onto a plate.

"No, don't stop!" Sephiroth yelled quickly, pushing Ansem's head down. "Keep going…ah….yeah….that's….gah…." Sephiroth suddenly relaxed back in his chair. "That's better…" Suddenly he was stepping on Ansem's head, pushing his head down against the floor. "Now swallow it."

"He's such a bastard." Cloud muttered sending a glare towards Sephiroth. It was starting to give Leon an idea of what could cause the cute submissive one to be angry. How could he forget? Last time he'd come so close to doing it to a tied up Sephiroth but the other had managed to escape him. Leon hadn't been so lucky since he didn't have the power of teleportation or whatever the hell it was Sephiroth called it. Was that the reason? Ah, Leon hadn't expected Cloud to be so good at fucking someone…even though he still preferred being on top.

"Makes me wonder how the hell are we in this relationship," Leon said out of the blue before he walked over to Sephiroth and smacked him in the back of the head with his spatula. "If you're done torturing the man, let him tell us where the money is."

Sephiroth growled and glared at him but gave up, rubbing the back of his head as he noticed Leon getting ready to smack him again. "You're lucky I'm too tired to kick your ass right now."

Ansem lifted his head suddenly, having swallowed what was in his mouth, some of it running down the side of his mouth, looking like a part of some man's wet dreams. It was enough to make all of them stare and shift uncomfortably.

Leon still found himself staring at Ansem, among other things, as he said, "Holy sh-"

"We'll talk about this in the morning," Sephiroth broke in as he grabbed Ansem by the hair dragging the other behind him as he headed to the bedroom.

"Wheeeeee! Playtime!" Ansem said, apparently happy with the situation despite his hair being pulled by his aggressive lover.  
"…I almost feel jealous it's not me this time," Leon said giving Cloud a glance as he goes to turn off the stove. Cloud was oblivious to him, as he was looking in a recipe book now, with his legs crossed though obviously horny by the way he was rubbing lightly over his crotch. Leon eyes filled with lust as he stared at his lover and licked his lips starting towards him. Let's just say…they followed Sephiroth's example after all.

* * *

(break)

Ansem: Sephy…

Sephiroth: Huh:looks around:

Ansem: Sephy….

Sephiroth:looks: What the……oh fuck no!

A:millions of naked Ansem's surrounding Sephiroth: Fuck me, Sephy! Make love to me!

S: Nooooooooooooooo:wakes up: Ahhh:finds Ansem cuddled next to him and snoring and knocks him out of the bed: bastard…

A:obliviously snoring and sprawled out on the floor:

(end break)

* * *

(In the next edition of Ansem, the four very unlikely lovers take a trip to Ansem's old castle, where they meet up with the mysterious man who knows it all!)

Sephiroth: Psh, it's not that mysterious.

Ansem:pouts: I didn't get enough parts.

Leon: But Sephy did fuck you twice this time.

Sephiroth: …Who said you could call me Sephy?

Ansem: Oh, you're right:tackles Sephy: Omg I'm just so horny! Do me again!

Sephiroth: Gah!

Cloud:yawning holding a teddy: Huh?

Leon and Sephiroth: …..Cute is fuckable.

Ansem: I'm cute too right? o

Sephiroth: Yeah….in a strangely annoying way…..yes… :shutters:

TBC….

Yeah I know :blinks: It's a big jump from last time but that's just the way this story is anyways. There just is no real plot whatsoever. Though I do wanna have fun with the castle thing. :snickers: Sorry, even though I said this was almost done last time I still took forever to update it. The next part is already in the works with its own unique strangeness and it will have visitors! Yay!


	5. Detective Ansem at Your Service

Pairings: In such confusion could it be, Leon/Sephy/Cloud/Ansem? Or or ….well…we'll see ne?

Warnings: more insanity, more perversity (it's a word!), more um…crazy? More…more groping? More oocness. And special guest appearances!

Comments: Another part to another I dunno.

Author's comments: Before you freak out and run away, don't take the first part of this chapter seriously :snickers: It's another muse again but it should return to normal pretty quickly Heck, it even scares me sometimes. :glances at Ansem who's humping on Sephy again: Oi vey!

Ansem's Fun: Detective Ansem at Your Service

_It was a cold day in July, you see?_

Ansem was sitting at a desk, a detective hat sitting weirdly on his head. He was smoking from a pipe though there was no smoke coming from it, which must have meant that he was really just holding it in his mouth to look cool. Everything was in black and white literally feeling old and classical. He had his feet lounged comfortable on the desk in front of him, seemingly content in his own little world, a newspaper discarded to the side of the desk very much close to falling onto the floor littered with paper balls, paper planes, and other such things. Yes, his little office was very cluttered, making it so he could barely even fit in it.

_A very cold day indeed._

He continued with his monologue and lifted the hat up slightly to look at the ceiling.

_It was on this very cold day, this very special cold day that I met a man…a very special man._

Someone knocked at the door causing Ansem to quickly look towards it. "Come in," he said breaking away from the monologue to give his attention to what had to have been his first client in a week. The door opened and Ansem felt his breath get taken away at what graced his visions.

_Never had I seen such a beautiful creature before in my life, with those slender hips and that long flowing hair. I knew I had to have him, no matter what._

The male stepped into his office, scantily clad in nothing more than short shorts and a fishnet shirt. There was no need for make-up for his face was already more beautiful than a heavenly angel's. He wore tall gothic styled boots which looked like they must have taken him forever to string up, not to mention they'd probably hurt like hell if someone got kicked by them. Maybe the only thing that really didn't belong there was the pink feathered scarf slung around the man's neck.

"I need your help," the sexy man said as he walked over to the desk, lifting his leg so he could sit his sexy boot down on it as he leaned down looking at Ansem. Ansem, for his part, completely forgot to breath, staring at that boot then letting his eyes travel up to those soft legs and on up to, oh god were those pants tight on that ass!

Finally remembering to speak, Ansem cleared his throat looking up at the man and giving him a grin. "Ah, and what can I help you with, mr…?"

"Sephiroth," the man said, completely disregarding him for a moment as he was looking at his sexy image in the compact mirror that must have just come out of no where cause there was NO WAY in hell those came from out of his pants pockets.

"Sephiroth," Ansem said then smiled as he climbed up onto the table, getting on his knees now as he leaned closer to the man with the swanky hips. "And…what can I help you with…Sephiroth?"

"Oh," Sephiroth swooned bringing his leg down and giving off the most innocent look as he nibbled lightly on his finger. "I just can't help this intense…desire I have for you." He turned around acting shy as he sat on the end of the desk looking over his shoulder at Ansem again as he bit his delicious lips tantalizingly. "I've wanted you ever since I laid eyes on you, Ansem. I can't sleep at night. I can't eat. I can't…pleasure myself anymore." Suddenly, Sephiroth turned around placing both of his hands onto the desk as he leaned in close, letting his hot breath blow over the other's lips, knowing that Ansem could smell the cinnamon of the gum Sephiroth had chewed not too long ago. "I want you to kiss me. I want you to touch me everywhere." He slid his tongue out licking at Ansem's lips as his lust-filled eyes watched for his response. "I want you to fuck me, Ansem! Yes! I want you to take me right here, on your desk and-"

"What the hell are you doing!"

Ansem blinked oh so innocently as he looked up and over his shoulder towards the tall man standing over him. Sephiroth did not look amused, his arms folded over his chest as he gave his best angry look, tapping a foot. He should have known that Ansem would be up to no good. The setting had changed as soon as Sephiroth let out that outburst, the cluttered office disappearing into what was now the living room to the house Sephiroth and his three lovers lived in. Right now, Cloud and Leon were in the kitchen making a mess of things as they were trying to attempt making their first cupcakes together. It wasn't working out though well considering that Cloud said there wasn't enough sugar in the batter, whereas Leon said there was too much. And why were they making cupcakes? Because of their guests, whom were sitting on the floor in front of Ansem, mouth and eyes opened like a fish.

Sora's cheeks were actually red from the story that had been told and, thankfully, interrupted by Ansem's shrewd lover who happened to make it into the living room just in time to save the two boys and the girl from losing their virgin ears forever. Or save what was left of them anyway. Riku actually didn't seem too bothered by it as he was snickering slightly from the story, not to mention the expression on Sora's face. Kairi was remaining neutral though her eyes and the small tint of red on her cheeks told Sephiroth otherwise. With a sigh, Sephiroth brushed his bangs out of his face tiredly before he kicked Ansem sending the other flying across the room.

"You idiot!" he yelled, vein popping out of his head as he clenched his hands into fists. "Don't go telling stories like that to little kids! Especially when you make me out to be on the bottom!"

"Oh, Sephy-noodle! You looked so cute in those itty bitty shorts! Do me now! Ack!" Ansem went down for the count causing Sephiroth to actually look surprised as he looked over towards the kitchen to an upset looking Leon.

"Had to use my best pot for that," he said looking over at Sephiroth before he sniffed and looked away instead looking towards Sora. "So why the hell are you here anyway?"

"Uh…." Sora finally brought himself out of the mental torture Ansem had put upon him to look up at Leon, giving an adorable smile. "We just wanted to come visit Cloud and you since we haven't seen you guys in a while."

Sephiroth sniffed at that, giving Sora a glare as he folded his arms irritably. "And why the hell didn't you include me in this visit, huh!"

"Might be cause you act like an asshole most of the time," Riku commented as he dug a finger into his ear acting nonchalant.

"You little brat!"

"Sephiroth, sit your ass down before I use a pot on you too!" Leon yelled giving his best cold glare towards his lover as he tapped his foot, actually hoping that Sephiroth wouldn't obey so he could use the pot. Sephiroth grumbled tempted to defy the other but decided against it, considering that he remembered just how a pot to the head felt. He'd been hit by them quite enough after his stomp fest on Ansem after the other decided to decorate Sephiroth's sword with ugly pink bows and ribbons.

Sora seemed like he was more comfortable with things now that Leon seemed to be the one under control, shockingly. Then again, Sora tended to feel a good deal safer when either Cloud or Leon were around him. "I hope you're not still sore about the tournament," Sora said bowing his head quickly to Sephiroth. "I'm sorry that I beat you, and if you don't mind, I wanna train with you."

Riku watched the two before he smirked looking a little too smugly. "I'm telling you, Sora, why ask a guy like that to train you? You kicked his ass during the tournament so you might as well just stick to training with me."

"You little punk!" Sephiroth started to get up then winced as he got hit in the head by a giant spoon. Leon was standing behind him, a black aura surrounding him as he folded his arms glaring.

"Sephiroth, if you touch any of these kids, I'll kick your ass," he said darkly.

"Psh." Sephiroth relaxed back on the couch, closing his eyes as he crossed his legs looking completely carefree. "I'd be surprised if you could lift your leg that high with how sore your ass will be after I'm through with you."

Luckily at that time Cloud came to save the day, or else Sephiroth might have ended up feeling pain…or Leon feeling pain…it was hard to say who'd end up on top with those two going at it.

"The cupcakes are finished!" Cloud yelled out as he came into the living proceeding to hand everyone a cupcake. As Riku was receiving is, Ansem suddenly came close sitting right across from him and staring at him.

At first Riku tried to ignore the stare but after about thirty seconds of it, without a break, he felt his nerves being grated on. "What?" Riku said harshly, eye twitching as he held his cupcake still.

"You don't miss me?" Ansem said bent over with his ass sticking up in the general direction of Sephiroth.

Riku seemed a little taken back by this comment, considering whom it was he was talking to. The look didn't last long though as he narrowed his eyes yelling to the man, "Why the hell would I miss you! Don't you remember what you made me do!"

/Flashback/

_Ansem_ :inside Riku's mind: **Do it!**

_Riku_: **No! I won't!**

_Ansem_:still inside his mind: **Come on, give it a try. You know you want to**…

_Riku_: **Stop it! I'm not like that!**

_Ansem_:still inside his mind: **Come on, it's not that hard.** **Here, I'll help you.**

_Riku_: **No, stop it!**

_Ansem_:takes over Riku's body and makes him slap Sora's ass before giving the body back: **See? It wasn't so bad!**

_Sora_:** Riku! **:slaps:

/End flashback/

"My cheek is still sore from that." Riku said after taking a bite of his cupcake.

"I said I was sorry!" Sora yelled out before giving off a cute little pout. "It's not my fault you don't know how to control your own body!"

"I was being possessed!" Riku yelled back before rubbing at his head calming down. "Whatever. Anyway…." He looked up towards Cloud and the others. "What are you guys up to?"

"We're about to head out to Hallow Bastion for something," Cloud said handing Ansem a cupcake with a smile.

"What are you guys heading out there for?" Kairi said, lips covered in the icing from the cupcake before she licked them clean.

"Go-" Ansem's mouth was clamped shut quickly by the hand of a very irritated Sephiroth. The blabber was about to go telling everyone that there was a hidden stash of gold! How dumb could he be!

"There's something there that we need," Leon provided still giving a dirty glare to Sephiroth and looking ready to pop him on the head again when he saw the other leering at him.

"Cool, can we come?" Sora asked.

"No," Sephiroth said flat out giving them all glares before he pulled his hand back quickly from Ansem's tongue licking between the fingers clamped over his lips and bopped him on the head with a fist. "This isn't kiddy stuff. Go play somewhere else." He snorted at that, keeping an eye on Ansem considering the way the other was looking at him, probably imagining Sephiroth naked.

"We're not kids!" Sora yelled out then pouted, his cheeks puffing out cutely.

"Technically we are…"Riku inputted before he stood up. "However, we can take care of ourselves. Remember this guy was defeated by a 'kid' pretty easily." He pointed a thumb at Sephiroth as he said that, giving Sora a reassuring smile.

"You wanna fight, punk!" Sephiroth was already standing and would have been over there with his hands around Riku's neck had it not been for Cloud holding him back by the arm.

"Bring it on!"

Leon sighed as he rested his head in his hand. Why…why was his lover so…childish? Was he doomed to be the only mature person in this um…relationship? "Sephiroth…" He turned and patted Sephiroth on the shoulder as he shook his head. "What's the point in arguing over this? Besides…unless you're capable of persuading Cid to lend you one of his ships, our best bet is to take Sora with us."

"Fuck…"

"Language." Cloud admonished as he shook a finger at him. "We have kids around. They don't need to hear your foul mouth."

"I can keep him quiet!" Ansem blurted out as he started to crawl his way over towards Sephiroth. "Oh Sephy baby, didn't you just LOVE my story?"

Sephiroth huffed and sank back into the chair, trying his best to ignore the whole situation. "Why the hell would I? I don't do bottom and you know that!"

Ansem was smiling happily, leaning his arms up on Sephiroth's legs and looking up at him adoringly. If he had a tail, it'd be swaying back and forth happily by now. "That's not what happened last night. I could have sworn I saw Leon lying on top of you with his cucumber inside of you."

"Why the hell would you call it cucumber!" Leon yelled out, offended by having his thing be called a piece of vegetable.

"Screw that! I don't know what you think you saw but you sure as hell didn't see THAT happening to ME!"

"Oh oh you're right…that might have been a fanfiction I read…" Ansem said contemplating this as he rested a finger against his lips.

"Fanfiction?" Sephiroth asked questioningly, lifting an eyebrow.

"Never mind, Sephy-sweet cakes!" Ansem laughed and reached into Sephiroth's pants.

"What the-ack! Stop that!" Sephiroth popped Ansem's hand giving a glare before he huffed staring at the others. "Anyway…why can't I just teleport there, get it, then teleport back? It's faster than waiting on your slow asses."

"Sure go ahead." Cloud said eating a cupcake, something Leon was watching intently as the creamy goodness was on Cloud's lips. "But when you end up miscalculating and teleporting into the middle of space and suffocating, don't come whining to me."

"Mm this cupcake is almost as sweet as my loveable sweet Sephi-muffins!" Ansem purred blowing a kiss to Sephiroth then licked the cream off his lips. "Oh but you'll always win, Sephi-gust."

"Sephi-gust?" Sephiroth said lifting a brow in question.

"I think he likes making up names for you…..no matter how….retarded they sound." Leon thought about that for a moment then smirked slightly. "Though they really do fit your personality well."

"Fuck you! Ouch!" Sephiroth held his hand, glaring up at Cloud who was holding the big spoon he'd used to hit Sephiroth.

"I told you to watch your language around the little ones!"

"Screw what the little ones think! They shouldn't be here in the first place!" Sephiroth was really starting to get pissed off at this whole situation.

"Yeah!" Ansem put in though he didn't sound so angry himself. "This is an XXX rated house so no PG-13 stuff allowed!"

"Dude, we're like 15 years old!" Riku scowled at Ansem, daring him to challenge his words. "We're not babies!"

"Actually I'm still 14…" Sora ducked his head as he said it, eyes turning to him now.

"Me too." Kairi added in.

"And I'm three billion years old!"

"Stop lying!" Sephiroth smacked his head again.

"Again! Spank me again! I'm such a bad boy, spank me!" Ansem bent over sticking his butt up in the air.

"……Right, anyway." Leon stood up from the couch and pointed a finger at Sora. "You're going to take us to Hallow Bastion since Cid won't let us near the gummy ship garage."

Cloud closed his eyes. "It's all Sephiroth's fault…he slashed up all the parts."

"Blame that on Ansem!" Glares at Ansem. "If he hadn't been licking them all and saying they tasted like 'Sephy flavored candy,' we wouldn't be in this mess!"

Riku looked at Sora then smirked. "How much should we charge these guys for the ride?"

"Riku!" Sora puffed his cheeks out. "I can't charge them! They're my friends! Friends help each other no matter the crisis!"

"Yeah yeah, we've heard this shi- stuff enough already. Let's get going." Sephiroth jumped up, grabbing Cloud before he suddenly poof into floating feathers.

"Ah! Sephy-sugars! Come back!" Ansem stood up quickly at his lover's disappearance then ran out the door. "Sephy-noodles! Ansem's waiting for you!"

The rest of them were left in a bit of shock before Leon just shook his head and looked at the kids. "Well then let's go…."

"Um…" Sora blinked adorably before he nodded his head standing to his feet. "Right!" And so the group headed out to the gummy ship, and was soon on their way to Hallow Bastion despite the small amount of space on the gummy ship. Who in the world would make such tiny traveling spaces, anyway?

TBC…

In the next adventure of "Ansem's fun" the group make it to Hallow Bastion, finally! Things happen that even I don't know about yet and stuff and I'm really too tired to even think right now so I'm just typing whatever. :snickers: But we'll definitely see how well their search for the stash of gil will be…especially with Ansem leading the way. Yes it was almost called the gummy bear ship…is it edible?


	6. Winning the cuteness contest!

Pairings: In such confusion could it be, Leon/Sephy/Cloud/Ansem? Or or ….well…we'll see ne?

Warnings: more insanity, more perversity (it's a word!), more um…crazy? More…more groping? More oocness.

Comments: Another part to another I dunno.

Author's comments: I finally got KH2 and it's fun! But no worries, this story won't contain spoilers for it considering that this was based off part one x.x no matter how AU it is…and naked Leon….

Leon: Don't talk about my ass when I'm not around….

Ansem's Fun: Winning the cuteness contest!

Previously on Ansem's Fun:

Ansem told a story about fucking Sephiroth…and got beat for it. Meanwhile, Cloud and Leon were baking cupcakes for their traumatized, young guests, two of whom were possibly gay. Now they're on a quest together, to find the missing treasure within Hallow Bastion that would possibly pay the bills for the rest of their lives…as well as pay for new sex toys since Sephiroth broke them all.

"Who wants to play spank the Ansem!" Ansem raised his hands up happily as he said that, his eyes looking over the group of males plus one female that was standing in front of the entrance to Hallow Bastion. Sephiroth was already two seconds away from pulling out his sword and slaying the darkness master. That made Cloud sigh. His lover could be so violent at times, despite the fact that Ansem probably deserved it a majority of the time. But at least Ansem was loving and very devoted unlike a certain someone who liked going out and fucking females for a living.

_I can't believe he said that to me!_

Cloud bristled slightly glaring at Sephiroth, tempted to hit him across the head for a moment before he contained himself. No, he mustn't stoop so low as to become like his former enemy slash former idol slash former commanding officer slash recent favorite bondage partner…though Leon was pretty damn good at it as well. Ok, that's enough slashes.

"No one wants to spank your ass," Riku slapped a hand to his forehead, reminding Cloud of a very vexed Leon…who happened to be doing that exact same action. "Why is this idiot with us?"

"Because he knows where to find what we're looking for," Sephiroth said pulling out his long ass sword. He started to walk towards Ansem but suddenly stopped as he looked back behind him at Riku, a certain look coming across his face which was a major sign that he was up to no good. "This being the same idiot that took over your body easily. What does that make you?"

"Makes me a very unhappy person who's about ready to kick your ass!"

"Riku!" Sora grabbed hold of Riku's arm, tugging slightly, his lips poking out in a cute way which was starting to make Cloud feel very insecure about his cute spot. No one could best him at being cute, no one! "Please, don't hurt him…please?"

"That wouldn't be the right thing to do," Kairi said adding in her comment though her being the only female left her kind of out of the spotlight…and thus everyone ignored her.

Riku still looked ready to tackle Sephiroth…not that he'd get far with it. But then Sora did the most vile thing Cloud could think of. He gave Riku…the water eyes!

_How dare he use that move!_

The watery eyes worked like a charm as Riku sighed, relaxing and smiling at the younger boy, petting his hand. "Alright, I won't hurt him…yet."

"Thank you, Riku!" Sora laughed as he hugged Riku tightly, the other rolling his eyes and petting his hair.

"Geez, you're welcome, ok?" Suddenly, Sora glanced Cloud's way, an evil glint to his eyes that said he knew exactly what he was doing. He was trying to still Cloud's cute spotlight! And Cloud was NOT about to be undone!

"Ah!" Cloud suddenly let himself fall to the ground, landing in the perfect position as he held his foot, looking up at Leon with the 'it hurts' expression.

"Cloud!" Leon ran over, kneeling down quickly. "What's wrong! Did you hurt yourself!" He moved Cloud's hand away, touching the foot lightly causing Cloud to give out a little wince. "Looks like you might have just twisted it the wrong way," Leon said before he looked up at him. "Do you want me to carry you?"

"Yeah," Cloud said, giving him the 'I love you' eyes. "I-if that's ok with you." Yes, the stutter attack! It always worked!

"No, I don't mind," Leon said as he turned around presenting his back to Cloud. The other wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled himself up till he was sitting on Leon's back, trying not to move the foot too much or else the ruse would be done.

"T-thanks." He glanced over at Sora, a triumphant look on his face.

_Take that, bitch!_

Sora just frowned and huffed as he looked away from him, folding his arms.

"Hey," Sephiroth said, starting over towards them, pulling on a leash that happened to be connected to the collar around Ansem's neck. Not that Ansem was complain as he kept trying to grab Sephiroth's ass causing the other to tug hard to make him stop. "Let's hurry up and get this over with before I kill him." Just noticing the strange display of his two lovers, one on the other's back, Sephiroth frowned and placed a hand on his hips. "What the hell…?"

"He hurt his foot," Leon said, shifting slightly to situate Cloud better on his back. "So I told him I'd carry him."

"I bet he's faking," Sephiroth said, smirking when Cloud's face turned red.

"Shut up," Cloud said glaring at him. He probably would have hit him too if not for the fact that he wasn't close enough. "I'm not faking."

"Bet if I fucked you right now, you'd forget all about that foot," Sephiroth said, reaching down and unbuttoning his pants as he smirked up at him. Oh that evil bastard was just begging for a beating! The zipper was slid down on the front of Sephiroth pants causing Cloud to have to swallow and look away.

"You should be careful where you do that," Leon said.

"Huh?" Sephiroth frowned, just before he found himself being tackled from behind.

"Fuck me, Sephi-spice! Fuck me hard!"

"Gah!"

"And that's our cue to leave," Leon said as he started into the palace, the others following him.

"You bastard!" Sephiroth vanished in a puff of feathers and reappeared standing in front of Leon, glaring at him and reaching for his sword. "You wanna die?"

"Not until you do first," Leon said casually as he pushed his way past him. "Where the hell are we supposed to be going?"

"Oh! The library!" Ansem yelled out, hugging on Sephiroth from behind, despite the fact that Sephiroth looked like he wanted to hurt something, or someone. "I always hide things there."

"You can read?" Riku asked, though it was more a sarcastic remark than anything. He didn't seem to mind the idea of Sora clinging onto his arm…which made Cloud and Leon wonder if those two were lovers or something.

"Sometimes," Ansem said, somehow having managed to climb up onto Sephiroth's back so that he was sitting just like Cloud was. "I've learned all the sex positions while reading those books." He nibbled on Sephiroth's ear as he whispered. "You can learn them with me, Sephi-nuts."

"Get off," Sephiroth said but sighed in defeat as the other just seemed to cling more. Well, as long as he wasn't groping him, it was ok this time…right now, his eyes were on Cloud…who's eyes were on Sora…who's eyes were on…Cloud. Ok, what was that about?

_**Brief intermission**_

Announcer: So…(looks at Cloud) Why the change of costumes in kingdom hearts 2?

Cloud: Well…at first I was going to do the whole wing outfit thing, you know…to look bad ass and stuff. (glares at Sephiroth) But then someone kept complaining about my red cloak and claw.

Sephiroth: If you want to dress up like someone, then dress like me. (glares back) I'm not having you walking around acting all infatuated with some other guy!

Cloud: It's not like it makes a difference! I already have three lovers!

Sephiroth: Yes, and you're supposed to be very faithful to those three lovers…especially me.

Cloud: (scowls)

Announcer: Um…well then…(looks at Leon) Do you have any complaints?

Leon: Just one… (folds his arms) I think…that I should have been the main character of Kingdom Hearts. (image pops up of the case of the first kingdom hearts with Leon in the spot Sora was in) Sephiroth can be my stupid friend and Cloud can be my bitch. (cover changes showing Sephiroth in Riku's spot and Cloud in Kairi's)

Cloud: Hey!

Sephiroth: Why you damn-

Leon: Riku and Sora can be my lackeys so they can follow me around and do all the work for me while I look cool and sexy in the background. (Sora takes over Donald's spot on the cover while Riku takes over Goofy's)

Sora: (frowns) I don't think I like this plan…

Riku: Who would?

Ansem: Ooo! Ooo! (raises his hand) Who will I be?

Leon: You can just be the same over-dramatic, darkness obsessed, gay, evil drama queen villain you've always been. (looks at him) You seem like the only person who could play that role so well…besides Sephiroth.

Sephiroth: Shut it!

Ansem: Sounds good, I like it. (winks at Sephiroth) I get to be inside you!

Sephiroth: Oh hell no! (disappears)

Riku: That's my cue to walk out on this… (shakes his head) Though I hate that I'm gonna end up following the asshole's example. (leaves)

Sora: Ah! Riku, wait! (follows)

Cloud: (looks at Leon and sighs) Just when I thought I knew you… (walks out)

Leon: ….

Kairi: Um…what about me? (is so ignored)

Leon: (looks at Announcer) Let's go get some coffee.

Announcer: Sure! (leaves out with him)

Kairi: Aww….

_**End intermission**_

…_That had to be the longest brief intermission I've ever seen,_ Leon thought before he cleared his throat and looked around the library, trying to ignoring the fact that Cloud was starting to get a little heavy. "So where do we look now?" Leon said, turning his eyes to Ansem as he waited for an answer.

"I don't remember!" Ansem said, grinning happily from his spot on Sephiroth's back.

"You asshole!" Sephiroth dropped him where he was, ignoring any complaints the darkness master had. "How the hell do you forget something like that!"

Ansem gave him a pout as he clawed at his pants leg. "Aww but Sephy-sweetums, when Sora came to visit me that one time, I got too wired up to remember."

"He came to find me," Riku said, glaring as he pulled Sora closer to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "Why in the world would he visit an old guy like you?" Sora seemed to blush though he didn't try to move away from the action, instead snuggling closer to him. Cloud glared at the action, noticing Sora's winning grin on his face as he looked at him.

_The bastard used the blush…. I can't believe he used the blush!_

"That is true," Leon said, gently sitting Cloud down on a table before he stretched his back, popping some joints. "Sora has the hots for Riku not you, Ansem."

"I-I think we should split up and look for it," Sora said with a blush as moved away from Riku, starting across the room, his little rump switching back and forth causing his friend to stare at it in awe.

"Sounds like a good idea," Cloud said as he pushed off the table, landing easily on his feet and starting to walk over.

"See?" Sephiroth started with a smirk, his arms folding across his chest. "Told you he was faking."

"I wasn't faking," Cloud said, though he blushed slightly out of embarrassment. "I just feel better now, that's all." He ignored the teasing look Sephiroth gave him and kept walking, heading over to where Sora was looking at a bookshelf. Leon just frowned, wondering what the two of them were up to. There seemed to be a little of tension between them, ever since they got off the gummie ship at the front door. Course, Riku seemed to be pretty obviously to it…well Kairi probably knew something about it but Leon really didn't feel like asking her.

"I'll team up with Sephy-BBQ!"

"How the hell did you even come up with a name like that!" Sephiroth yelled as he popped Ansem across the head. "I'm not edible!"

"Aww but Sephy-snuggles!" Ansem gave him the pouty look, something both Cloud and Sora took notice up. "You taste sooooo good especially when I su-"

"Argh!" Sephiroth walked away quickly, hand twitching on the handle of his sword. Course, Ansem wasn't far behind him, bouncing around happily.

"Guess that leaves you and me," Leon said as he looked over at Riku.

Riku shrugged his shoulder. "Seems that way. Leave the two most intelligent guys here in the same group. How smart was that?" Leon nodded his head, his eyes still looking over towards Cloud and Sora, noticing they seemed to be talking…though he wanted to know about what.

"Noticed anything…strange going on between those two?" Leon asked.

"Hm?" Riku followed Leon's eyes to the two males with the spiky hair and frowned a bit. "Now that you mention it…they seem a little tense…and Sora's been hugging on me far more than usual."

"What do you mean stop being cute?" Sora said to Cloud, pouting as he placed his hands on his hips staring up at him.

"I mean stop trying to act like you're the cutest thing here," Cloud said, glaring down at him as he folded his arms, tapping a claw finger against his arm. "You're not stealing my cute spotlight, damn it!"

"Why the heck would you want to be cute anyway?" Sora smirked, feeling like he had the other cornered now. "I'm younger which automatically makes me cuter." Sora frowned slightly. "You should be moving on to the hot category by now."

"I can't," Cloud said, his eyes softening slightly. "Not with three already sexy lovers…who refuse to let me be on top." His eye twitched at that. Well…occasionally he could get Ansem to be on the bottom…when he did do it with Ansem. The only time anyone else fucked Ansem or was fucked by him, rarely, was when Sephiroth wasn't home. Course, now that Cloud knew what Sephiroth did for a living, he hardly ever let the other out of his sight.

_He'll see what happens if he tries to sleep with another woman again!_

"Oooh." Sora nodded his head in understand as he stepped closer and placed a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "I understand." He gave a little smile, tilting his head to the side, just looking cute without trying. "If it'll help, I'll hold back on the cute act while we're here."

"Yeah, that'll help," Cloud said, smiling in return. Well, Sora wasn't so bad after all. He almost felt guilty for having gotten frustrated with the younger one in the first place. After all, Sora had helped him a lot.

"By the way," Sora said, arms coming up to rest behind his head as he stared up towards the ceiling. "What are we looking for anyway?"

"Ah right…we forgot to tell you that, didn't we?" Cloud said, knowing it had been an agreement not to mention the treasure because Sephiroth refused to share it with their other companions. But what was the harm of telling this cute and innocent Sora about it? "We're searching for some treasure Ansem left hidden here in the library." Cloud frowned slightly. "Though, I'm not quite sure how we're supposed to go about finding it."

"You mean that treasure belonged to Ansem!" Sora's eyes were wide, causing Cloud's frown to deepen. Why was he having a bad feeling about this?

"What do you mean…belonged?" He asked, already afraid of what the answer might be.

"Um…well…." Sora gave a nervous smile as he backed away slightly. "See…when Goofy, Donald, and I came down here our first time we…kind of found a few things…like treasure. Sooo…we found this huge box with a lot of munny in it and we took it and-"

"It's gone, isn't it?" Cloud asked, knowing the answer before the young keyblade master had even said anything.

"Yep," Sora replied, plain and simple. "But um…look on the bright side! It got put to good use in saving the world from the evil Ansem!"

"I'm still here!" Ansem yelled, waving his hand at the two of them from his spot on top of Sephiroth, whom he'd tackled to the ground.

"Get off, damn it!"

"Ah, sorry Seph-tato!" Ansem sat up, making a comfortable seat out of Sephiroth's lap as he smiled up at the two spiky heads. "Did you find anything yet?"

"Um…well about that," Cloud said, preparing his ears for the yell he knew would be coming. "Sora kind of…found it a long time back…and now…it's gone."

"WHAT!" Sephiroth instantly pushed Ansem to the side as he stood to his feet, looking like his heart had just been broken at the news.

"I-if it helps anyway," Sora said giving a little smile, "There was only 1000 munny in the chest."

"Only 1000 munny…." Sephiroth turned quickly, his eyes glowing red like flames. "You bastard! You told me there was 1,000,000 munny in there!"

"There was 1,000,000 munny in there," Ansem said as he moved to kneel in front of Sephiroth, grabbing hold of his pants and tugging at them to try and get them off. "Minus the 999,000 munny that I spent on buying those cute little flying mage heartless."

"What the hell were you thinking!" Sephiroth pulled out a whip, suddenly wearing tight leather pants and a black see through shirt that said 'kiss the master' across the front.

"I'm sorry Sephy-master!" Ansem cried out, though he looked more excited than scared as he wore nothing more than really skimpy short shorts. "Oh, punish me master!" He turned over presenting his ass to Sephiroth. "Spank me hard! Teach me a lesson!"

"And now…this has gotten to weird for me," Leon said, as he looked at Riku before walking on out of the library, not even giving a glance back.

"I have to agree…." Riku glared at the floor as he started to walk. "And all my lines were short and sucky."

Cloud glanced over at Sora and smiled as he held out a hand to him. "Hey, come on. I'll show you some techniques I use to make Sephiroth take out the garbage."  
"Ok!" Sora grabbed his hand, following as he was lead out of the library leaving the two masochist lovers playing on the floor.

"Oh, make me hurt! Make me scream!"

"You'll be doing a hell of a lot of screaming in about a few minutes!"

"Oh Sephy-bug, you're so-AHHH!"

_**Final words…**_

Leon: …..

Sephiroth: …You know…I actually feel…embarrassed by this update.

Cloud: (pouts) At least you weren't stuck in a freaking "cute" contest. What the hell! I'm so not cute! I'm sexy.

Leon and Sephiroth: Yeah…right….

Sora: I looked like a wimp!

Riku: …Welll…

Sora: (glares at Riku) Say it and I kick you.

Kairi: How come I didn't have any lines?

Leon: Being the only girl in a story about gay guys probably wasn't wise.

Sephiroth: (smirks) You could always have a sex change.

Sora: Oh, eww! Don't say that! (covers his ears)

Ansem: Sephy-duckies, I'm ready to get down now. (smiles from where he was chained to the wall, naked)

Sephiroth: Not until I think you've suffered enough for embarrassing me. (glares) Now shut up and sit still.

Ansem: Yes, Sephy-master! (squirms against the wall making the chains rattle) Oh but I wanna be done sooo badly by you, Sephi-spree.

Leon: Sephi-spree? Now…that's a new one. (smirks looking cocky as he looks at Sephiroth) What if I called you Sephi-ass?

Sephiroth: As much as I know you like my ass…I'd still have to kill you.

Leon: Sorry, but Cloud's ass is better than yours.

Cloud: Hey!

Sephiroth: (smirks) How would you know if I'm always the one fucking it?

Sora: Um…h-hey, guys?

Leon: Cause when you're done, Cloud always begs me to take over.

Sephiroth: Oh yeah? (glares at him) We'll see about that! (grabs Cloud draping him over a shoulder before he heads towards the bedroom)

Cloud: Eep! Hey! H-hey, don't I get a say in this!

Leon: You're on, you asshole! (flexes his fingers as he follows him into the bedroom, closing the door behind them.)

Sora: Um…..

Riku: (grins at him) I think we should give it a try too.

Sora: (blush) Y-you mean um…and that…and um…that?

Riku: (nods giving Sora a quick kiss before he takes his hand leading him to another room)

Sora: (blushes following him to the room, the door closing behind them)

Kairi: ….(left all alone) Might as well go then. (sighs and leaves)

Ansem: (wiggles on the wall) I'm still here!

TBC…

Yeah…weird update…never work on an update at like three in the morning. Anyways, next time Cloud gets a job at an ice cream shop while Leon and Ansem open up a bakery…and Sephiroth sticks to his old job while also playing delivery boy. Let's see how that works out. :Had to cut out a portion of the ending cause it just wouldn't post:


	7. Ice Prince

Pairings: In such confusion could it be, Leon/Sephy/Cloud/Ansem? Or or ….well…we'll see ne?

Warnings: more insanity, more perversity (it's a word!), more um…crazy? More…more groping? More oocness.

Large amounts of Sephy/Leon interruptions cause they don't know how to just shut up

Comments: Another part to another I dunno.

Author's comments: Ok ok so I skipped out on the job thingy cause like…..well…..and stuff. Also, this one's another editted version because of...yeah...

Sephiroth: Lazy Ass….

Leon: You're one to talk…

Note: Things in italics are a part of Cloud's story. These guys interrupt Cloud's story a lot, but I think they'll keep pretty quiet during the juicy part. [snickers

Ansem's Fun: Ice Prince

_Once upon a time in a hideously dark and ugly castle, there lived a fat, balding slob called Sephiroth._

Sephiroth scowled at Leon as he glared at him, the four of them sitting in the huge bed together, sharing a nice moment of peace and relaxation in their PJs. Well for Sephiroth…that included boxers and nothing else. After all, you never know when the fucking might begin. "Keep that up and I'll show you balding."

"Sephiroth, be nice," Cloud said, a cute little pout on his lips as he looked at the both of them wearing his glasses making him look adorable. "and Leon, stop being mean." Clearing his throat he looked down at the story he'd wrote nicely and neatly in his notebook. He sat down between Leon and Sephiroth, Ansem nestled nicely between his legs, slowing dozing off with a little bit of drool coming out the corner of his mouth. He could be cute sometimes, when he wasn't completely fawning over Sephiroth. After all, Cloud could be just as good at fucking as the rest of them. No, seriously! He knew he could. "I'll be the narrator if you two are going to keep acting up like this." Yeah, tonight was the special night. Tonight was the night he got to share his artistic side! Oh, he'd always wanted to narrate a story! Not that either of his lovers knew that. Besides, it was his story so he might as well narrate it.

"Whatever," Leon said as he folded his arms leaning back against his pillow.

"And I'll do the sound effects," Ansem said, growing excited suddenly as he sat up quickly.

"Hell no!" Sephiroth yelled as he grabbed the back of Ansem's head slamming his face into the bed. Good think it was soft. He turned a glare at Cloud. "Why are we doing this anyway?! What about finding a job to earn munny?!"

"It wasn't my decision!" Cloud yelled glaring at Sephiroth. Well…it mostly wasn't his anyway. "This is the theme for this chapter! That's why we're doing this!"

Sephiroth blinked hearing that. "Chapter?" He frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about?! This isn't a story!"

"Anyway!" Cloud yelled out changing the subject quickly.

_Once upon a time, in a beautiful, white palace, there lived a young prince by the name of Sephiroth. Because he had no heart, he was called the Ice Prince. Frozen air left his breath whenever he spoke and his lips were as blue as ice._

Sephiroth scowled folding his arms. "It's like I'm wearing make-up."

_Despite the beauty of the prince, no one loved him because of his cold nature. "Why won't any one love me?" the prince asked staring wistfully out his window. _

"Why would I care about that?!" Sephiroth said frowning at Cloud. "I'm fucking gorgeous!"

Cloud glared at him, for interrupting his story. "Shut up."

_Sephy…I mean, Sephiroth the Ice Prince gave a sad sigh as he stared out his window. But something was heading towards his palace. In a fit of joy he headed out his room and down the steps quickly, for three beautiful-_

"Fit of Joy?" Sephiroth asked frowning at the description. Hell, he wasn't some gay pansy…he was just gay…well…bi anyway.

"Beautiful Again?"

Cloud glares at both of them and sighed changing what he was going to say slightly.

_Three sexy men were making their way towards the palace._

Leon looked at Sephiroth, a smirk lifting to his lips as Sephiroth was basically violated in the story by Cloud's imagination. "You're so gay."

"You're one to talk."

"Both of you shut up!" Cloud growled glaring at them.

"Fine."

"Whatever."

_"Surely one of these sexy men will want to be my lover," Sephiroth said as he opened the door._

"Of course they would," Sephiroth said looking quite smug with himself as he looked at his four lovers. "After all, I'm hot like the sun."

"And greasy like butter," Leon added in muttering under his breath. Leave it to Cloud to make Sephiroth's head swell up even bigger. No, not that head! …Well sometimes. Come to think of it, why wasn't this story all about him?! How come Sephiroth got the lime light?!

"Sephbutter," Ansem mumbled yawning as he slid closer to Sephiroth licking at his leg. "Mmmmm, sounds delicious."

"Gah! Stop that!"

"Oooooo and creamy too!"

Cloud felt his eyes twitching but he was determined to finish his story.

_The three men met Sephiroth at the front door. They were very homeless and had heard from the people at the village of a beautiful male that lived alone in a huge palace. They warned the men of the Ice Prince, but the men ignored the warning sure they could melt the Ice Prince's cold heart._

"Or just melt him," Leon said glaring at Sephiroth…damn him for getting all the attention.

_"How can I help you?" Sephiroth asked as he stood by the door, his eyes glancing over the three males. _

_"We're lost and was hoping for a place to stay for the night," the tall sexy man with the scar on his nose said._

"Guess I'm in this after all."

_"Actually, we're homeless," another male said with weird, gray hair. _

_"Can we stay here with you, just for the night?" said the cute innocent male with the gorgeous hair and blue eyes like the ocean. He also had a nice sexy body that could make any male drop dead._

Leon frowned. "…Why is your description so detailed?"

"Yeah," Ansem interjected, "I got labeled with weird hair!" He pouted. "I like my hair."

"…And I'm faceless with only a nose and a scar."

"Um…."

_"You can stay," the Ice Prince said, "On one condition."_

_"And what is that?" the scar faced man said suspiciously._

_"You all must be my lover."_

_"Agreed," the weird haired one said quickly._

"…a little too quickly."

"That's just like him." Sephiroth smirked at Leon earning him a suspicious look from the tall brunet. "Looks like you're in my harem now."

Leon blinked, unable to stop the slight blush that crept up in his cheeks. "…."

"I haven't seen you two do it yet," said a blushing Cloud looking up from his story to look at the two.

Reddening even more, Leon sighed resting two fingers against his forehead as he rubbed at the headache he was sure would come. "Just finish up your story."

"O-Oh…right…."

_The first day, the Ice Prince laid his eyes on the sexy male with the scar. His name was Leon. The three of them had fled their hometown when it had been invaded. Despite being slightly shorter than Ansem…I think…Leon was quite handsome, known for being the ladies man with the girls back home…well…known for being fawned after by the ladies back home. We weren't really…I mean…the two males that traveled with Leon weren't too sure about his sexual orientation. Then again, he must have at least swung both ways because one time when Cloud went out to get some food, he came back to find Ansem with his tongue in Leon's mouth and his hand inside his pants doing something. Leon didn't seem to have any compl-_

"Will you stop talking about my sexual orientation and get on with the story?!"

"Sorry…I'm just curious."

_That first night found Leon sitting in his room at his desk reading a book, so into it he didn't hear the knock at the door. When he didn't receive an answer, Sephiroth frowned to himself opening the door, his body letting a chill into the room, which caused the little light of the lamp on the desk beside Leon to go out. Shivering slightly and frowning at the suddenness of his light going out, Leon stood up, the leather pants squeezing tightly on his butt as he bent over looking for the matches. Despite it being dark now, Sephiroth had no problems seeing in the dark as his eyes focused on those dark globes. Quickly and quietly, Sephiroth pressed up against Leon from behind, gaining a gasp of surprise from the other as his body went still in alarm._

_"Who's there?" Leon asked in a quiet whisper._

_"It is only I," Sephiroth said in a deep voice, "the Ice Prince."_

"This is so fucking cheesy."

"Shut up, Sephiroth! It's getting to the good part."

"I'll say…." Ansem grinned standing on his knees on the bed as he took off his shirt swinging it around. "Whooo, take it off! Take it all off!"

"Grrr…"

"…."

_"Why are you in my room?" Leon asked starting to pant as he felt the chill of the Ice Prince's fingers on his nipples underneath his shirt._

_"Tonight is the night I dominate you," Sephiroth said, his cold icy lips pressing up against Leon's neck. "If you can warm my cold body then you and your friends can stay."_

_"I didn't ask to be dominated," Leon said, despite his body's protesting his words as he leaned back against the lean body behind him._

Leon frowned seeing just how…serious this story was starting to get…and not liking the direction it was taking…considering. "…I thought this was a kid's story."

"It was….um…." Cloud blushed as he looked down at his fingers before glancing over at Sephiroth. "b-before Sephiroth….did what he did?"

"I make every story XXX related," Sephiroth gloated, smirking.

"…And I think I'm on the bottom," Leon added…frowning again. Oh this story was NOT on his high list.

The dark angel just gave him a shrug, though that smug look on his face said he really didn't care as long as he was annoying the hell out of Leon. Which he was doing a fairly good job of doing. "That's the norm after all," he said earning a scowl from Leon.

"Can we finish the story?" Ansem said pouting as he pawed slightly at Sephiroth's crotch acting like a cat wanting some milk. "I want to get to my part."

"Well…we could if –someone-" Cloud cast his glare on his other two lovers, both of which looked even more frustrated glaring at each other, "would stop interrupting."

"…Fine."

"Sure, whatever."

Leon glared at Sephiroth, not appreciating that his line was being stolen, but Sephiroth only smirked back and taking a finger and sliding it between the two fingers on his other hand, a grin on his lips at the blush he received. Oh yeah, he was still the master! No one could out fuck the Sephiroth King!

"Anyway…"

_"I didn't ask to be domin-_

"… You already said that par-."

"Shut up! I know what I'm doing!"

_"I didn't ask to be dominated," Leon said, despite his body protesting his words and leaning back against the lean body as he wiggled his hips. Later on, Cloud and Ansem came inside finding a shocking sight...that they quickly joined in on. _

"And I'll fuck every last one of them."

"Sephiroth!"

"What?" Sephiroth frowned as he glanced at Cloud. "It's true."

_And the four males finally reached their end together. _

"That was ultra fast."

"Well I'm done," Cloud said frowning as he closed his notebook tossing it off the side of the bed. "Besides, you guys kept interrupting."

Sephiroth looked over at him, Ansem between his legs trying to peel his boxers off. "Because why the hell are we listening to a story when we can be doing the fucking right here?" Grinning he let his eyes rest on Leon. "So go ahead and bend over so I can fuck you."

"Good night," Leon said blushing as he turned over pulling the blanket over his head. "Bastard."

"Thanks."

"Mmmmm, I'll play with you Sephy-nifty!"

"You always play with me!" Sephiroth said scowling as Ansem. He glanced over at Cloud noticing the other was pouting and smiled resting a hand on his head ruffling his hair. "If you're so peeved, then why don't you do Ansem in the butt." He grinned. "Then you can say you're not always on the bottom."

"Ah…" Cloud blushed looking at Ansem before he shook his head. "M-Maybe another time."

"Aww come on Cloudy-Woudy," Ansem purred as he wiggled his butt back and forth. "Just for a little while."

"W-Well…if you insist." Crawling from his spot between Leon and Sephiroth, Cloud got on his knees behind Ansem. "You sure you're ok with this?"

"Oh delighted! I've had Sephir-beer, Lele-poodle, and now Cloudy Puff! It would be an orgasmic full circle."

Leon frowned sitting up, seeing the three of his lovers getting it on…and without him no less. How dare they?

Sephiroth smirked at him. "Oh, couldn't sleep, sleepy head." He leaned over trapping a surprised Leon's lips as he nibbled on them before sliding his tongue into the gaping mouth. Unable to avoid the sheer power of Sephiroth's kisses, Leon groaned gripping the sheets beneath him as he pushed his tongue up against the invading one. He slid close, unable to help himself as he leaned down kissing one of Sephiroth's nipples before moving lower.

"Hey hey, you're interfering with the flow," Sephiroth said glaring at Leon. "Go fuck Cloud or something."

"…Asshole."

After much yummy goodness provided by the sexy men, the four collapsed together onto the bed, sated, sweaty, and feeling damn good about things. Leon was already partially asleep, nuzzled easily on top of Cloud who was comfortably reclined halfway on Ansem who was still stuck between Sephiroth's legs, using him as a pillow. And Sephiroth? He was still sitting there watching the three with half slitted eyes before he looked to the side of the bed at the discarded notebook, finding an open page in the back that looked like a continuation to the story.

_The three men had broken the Ice Prince's cold heart. He felt he could smile again as he stood at the door, watching his three lovely boys lying comfortable in each other's arms…naked…and in his bed. Yes…he was definitely king now. And there was no way he'd let these three out of his sight ever. He'd protect them…or at least until a certain loud mouth decided to whine about not being fucked in a few hours. _

_The End._

"…Heh…my personal harem."

TBC….

Cloud: That was hot!

Leon: That was creepy.

Ansem: That was amazing!

Sephiroth: That was fucked up! In a good way! For me anyway.

Leon: Ass….

Sephiroth[smirks I agree, your ass is good for fucking.

Leon: ….

Yep...definitely editted...I think I got it all. Naturally, you can find the full version on y-gallery. Or at least until I do finally remake and put up my website.


End file.
